Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Hello, my name is J'me. (No, there are no letters missing, that is really my name.) Friends simply call me Jay. Two syllables seems too long these days I guess. ;)

I have always been a larger person throughout my life but I was always active so it wasn't to the point of obesity. Once I became "middle aged" and my kids grew older my activity level was at a stand still and my weight was in full forward motion.

In my culture food is everything. It's how we express love, it's how we socialize, it's how we encourage one another, etc. And the more greasy the food, the more love that was poured into it! Chili rellenos, enchiladas, barbacoa, menudo, mmmmm, it's all so delicious! The bad part is that they are all full of fat! Because of this over the years I become what a call "fat and happy." When there is something to celebrate we do it with food and my life has been blissfully blessed in so many ways over the past decade.

Along with all of those blessings I have suffered many health issues that have caused emotional stress and mental anguish that has been at an all time high for the past year. I have not been that "fat and happy" person that everyone knows; now I'm just fat. Because of all my medical procedures recently I was unable to exercise and the pounds kept creeping up. It seemed that the moment I was actually motivated to start losing some weight, that's when I "wasn't allowed." Yesterday, October 11th, was a devastating day for my family in regards to my medical situation and things at this point seem hopeless. We have seen God's hand in all of this so we know that He has a plan for us, but right now while we are in the middle of the storm it is hard to see anything but our situation. Ever heard that song "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson? Well, that is the theme song for this season of my life. We know that God has big plans for us but the waiting process will be a growing time for us as it is a very painful wait. I thank the Lord everyday for giving me such an awesome man of God for a husband. He has encouraged me and lifted my spirits through all our trails. I love him very much, but one of the things that he can never do for me is help ME to lose weight and get fit for ME.

Much like our God, my husband loves me inside and out so there is no motivation to lose weight. Yes, I realize that this is the only earthly body I will have and I should take care of it, but when you weight well over 100 lbs. like I do, you get the point of making excuses. Well, today is a new day. Today I am looking at my future and telling God, "I don't know what you are doing in my life, but I know that it's good, and I'm gonna be a good steward with what you gave me." Today I'm going to do my best to get into shape. (A shape other than "round.") I am going to start eating better. It's not like I eat pies and cakes all day, heck, I don't ever LIKE those things! But there are other alternatives to the food that I am used to eating. And no, I'm not going to deprive myself, but there has to be some form of moderation and control. Self control is one of the fruits of the Spirit that I have been lacking and it's time I make way for that fruit to flourish!

My goals for the next 10 weeks:

Include more time in my day for God. Just Him and I. Renewing my spirit. It's not enough to read His Word and pray. I have to learn to be silent and listen for Him to speak. (I used to be diligent with this and have somehow lost it along the way.)

#2: Start substituting high fat food items for better alternatives. (Low fat or non fat items, equivalent items with just a higher fiber content, etc.)

#3: Eat when I'm hungry. Stop when I'm no longer hungry. (Sounds so easy, but this is a HUGE one for me.)

Start a moderate exercise routine. At least 20-30 minutes a day, 4 times a week.

Find a work-out partner. Someone that will keep me accountable. Someone that I feel comfortable with and someone that I can also encourage along the way as well.

The weight on my body will submit to ME as I will be submitting to GOD.
Praying that I find encouragement during these next 10 weeks.
I'm glad to be a part of your group. =)

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